The art of living well is letting go of control and
understanding what is out of control.
Letting go is difficult because there is one thing that most of us have overlooked: the wisdom of letting go to let God.
Life is all about living—it comes with some hard
work, simple integrity, and, above all, the wisdom in living. If life is all
about living—not just about making and spending money—then it
is not about regrets and dreams.
Regrets look back at the past; dreams look forward to the
future. Unfortunately, both are not within our control. If the value
of money is solely based on accumulation of wealth, or the acquisition of
material things, then living indeed becomes a labyrinth of regrets and
dreams—regrets over the wrong investment decisions in the past, and dreams of
the great fortune yet to come in the future.
A life journey is forever paved with many challenges and losses, many of which are beyond human control because they are often sudden and unpredictable.
Physical loss, including loss of vision and mobility, both
of which may affect the quality of life with respect to independent living, may
make living beyond control.
Material loss may include loss of property from natural
disaster, such as flooding, tornado, and wildfire, loss of place and space,
such as moving from a house to an apartment or to a nursing home. Downsizing
also means the loss or forced disposal of treasured possessions that many are
reluctant to let go of.
Memory loss may result in a severe loss of organizational
ability and the ability to plan and function, resulting in loss of
independence, which is a major setback for the elderly.
Loss of loved ones due to accidents or natural causes are
devastating. Spousal loss is often the most devastating in that the oneness in
marriage is forever broken, resulting in isolation and loneliness.
Losses that come in many different forms often become
sources of unhappiness, but losses are no more than life challenges that are
beyond human control.
But living, to many, is about controlling self and others;
more specifically, purposely controlling the destiny of self, as well as
directly or indirectly controlling the destinies of others around. The truth of
the matter is that we are only humans, and we cannot control what is controlled
by God. Being finite, with only limited intelligence, we are limited in our
capability to control what is beyond human control. God, who is infinite, is in
absolute control of everything. Our constant desire to control is displeasing to
God—an expression of our lack of trust, and our disobedience.
Humans are always given a choice: continuing to control one’s destiny, or letting go to let God control. God has given each one of us a unique life and destiny that only we can complete it.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your
book before one of them came to be.”
(Psalm 139: 16)
However, the completion of that life and destiny in our
life journey is according to His way and time, and not according to ours. In
other words, it is all about what He wants for us, and not what we want for
ourselves.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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