Anger
Anger or rage is an ineffective and inefficient
way to resolve any issue or make any problem go away. It is a negative emotion
that may lead to depression, if it is not properly addressed.
An illustration
Donna Alexander,
the creator of the “Anger Room” in Chicago ,
first thought of the idea as a teenager living in Chicago
Thinking questions
Can
you really hold off your anger until after you have checked in at the “Anger
Room”?
If
you are so accustomed to smashing and destroying many objects at the “Anger Room,”
could you still restrain yourself
from doing the same when your anger is sudden and unmanageable in the office or
the kitchen?
The reality
As much as 50 percent of
human diseases may be psychosomatic. Therefore, it is not an overstatement that
the mind and diseases are interconnected.
Dr. Caroline B. Thomas, M.D., of John Hopkins
School of Medicine, discovered that cancer patients often had a prior poor
relationship with their parents, attesting to the pivotal role of emotions in
the development of cancer. In another study by Dr. Richard B. Shekelle of the
University of Texas School of Medicine, it was found that depression patients
were not only more cancer prone but also more likely to die of cancer than the
other patients. If emotions play a pivotal role in cancer, by the same token,
negative emotions may also adversely affect the symptoms or the prognosis of
any human disease. Thoughts of anger, despair, discontent, frustration, guilt,
or resentment are instrumental in depressing the physiological processes,
including the human body’s immune response—a formula for promoting the
development of an autoimmune disease.
According to other
studies, strong negative emotions, such as anger, can create destructive mental
energy that is health damaging. However, it must be pointed out that it is more
damaging in not experiencing raging
anger, or not wanting to experience
it than in actually experiencing it. The former may cause diseases, or trigger
a depression.
Conventional wisdom
Conventional wisdom is to use distraction to defuse and dissipate the
sudden anger or rage.
Thomas
Jefferson famously said, "When angry, count 10, before you speak;
if very angry, 100."
TAO wisdom
According to TAO, the wisdom of Lao Tzu, the ancient sage from China, take a deep breath, review
the situation, and ask yourself one simple question: what is the original
purpose of driving your car—to get to your destination, or to get angry?
Don’t hold your anger in; instead, let it go,
by breathing it out. Don’t let it go as pain; instead, let it go as your acceptance. Your acceptance should be
viewed not as a sign of your own weakness but as a statement of your own
communication to yourself that getting to your destination is much more
important than getting angry.
Remember, anger is always present to serve a
purpose to release some deeper issues, problems, and internal conflicts that
you may be carrying in your own bag and baggage all these years. It is always
better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy yourself. Suppressing
anger, on the other hand, is also self destructive, as the negative energy
redirects itself back into your own body. Anger in itself is a path of
destruction. Resolve anger by developing habits that may release internal
conflicts in a constructive manner before it can be released as rage.
Remember, the world
always reflects your actions. If you lash out in rage, then the world lashes
back at you with that same rage causing pain or grief that still has to get
resolved. There is no true “release” of anger, except by resolution.
TAO teaches that peace is the true warrior’s
path. The sword while an option is never used with anger, or you may have lost
from the start. According to Lao Tzu,
“The best fighter is never becoming angry.”
Learn to do the following when you become angry:
Take a deep diaphragm breath (See Appendix B), and just feel it.
Just look at your anger
in your mind.
Accept that you are now
angry, and then slowly release your anger as you breathe it out.
If necessary, use your
arm like a sword to sweep away your anger and cut through your feelings of
anger, while saying: “I can see my anger: it is as it was.”
Subconsciously, we all exert a great deal of
mental energy to hold on to the past, which is no more than what we think happened. In the now, what
happened in the past is just a memory, and no longer there; all memories are no
longer truths, but at best only guidelines for the future. That is to say, your
anger is as it was. Just
learn to release your anger over any issue. Anger on its own has no power at
all, except the power you give it to make it real to you.
The bottom line: anger is often caused by an inflated
ego that one has to be right about an issue; without an ego, nothing can anger
or trouble you. Seek only your internal balance and harmony.
“We do not become aggressive when we are
confronted.
We do not become angry when we are provoked.
We see neither an enemy nor a competitor,
because we do not seek our own way.
Knowing both our strengths and weaknesses,
we use them to complement one another.
Thus, we find balance and harmony.
Naturally and easily, we follow the Way.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 68)
Just do not let your anger depress you!
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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